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Raise Your Standards

Setting & maintaining personal standards in life is how you guarantee getting what you need out of daily life.

As a developmental specialist, if you ask me, standards are the bare f*ing minimum you are going to accept in life. The bare minimums you accept include all areas of your life; standards are maintained and upheld every single day by how you accept things into your life. The personal standards we keep determine the expectations we set and realize. Our standards determine the quality of our results in all areas of life from work to relationships, and standards determine the overall quality of our lives.

A great and solid example is relationship standards which are minimum requirements accepted in any relationship whether friendship or romantic. Relationship standards are when a person knows certain qualities must be present. The same goes for qualities and characteristics that are not to be present, in the case of unwanted behaviors or values, and failing to meet these requirements results in a “deal breaker.” On an emotional level, these types of relationship standards are inflexible and, if overstepped, can be considered a hard boundary of behavior never acceptable.

Your personal standards are reflected in how you treat yourself and in how you treat others. What’s more, they are also reflected in how you expect to be treated by other people. When we expect people to act a certain way, that means we have set standards about how people should act. Our standards are to help us in life. Having standards in life helps us move forward consistently, maintain finances, get what we need from our relationships, and improve our quality of life. Your personal standards are also reflected in the promises you keep, in the way you dress and manage your life, health, finances, and environment.


Our standards are personal and are reflected in the quality of your work, values, and communication. Values will be discussed in a minute. Everything we do and say provides others with insight into the personal standards we keep. We are a walking projection of our beliefs which manifest as standards in life. The following are some great examples of personal standards in life:

  • If your work or home environment is messy and disorganized, then that reflects the standards you uphold in this area of your life. Choosing to be messy reflects your personal standard and expectations, which we talk about in a minute, are low in regards to cleanliness. This also means you likely do not have or find much value in living a clean life. People with the same lower standards and values will find you most attractive to spend time with as there will be little pressure to perform in higher standards as well as no expectation to do so.

  • When your environment is clean and orderly, this tells people your standard of living is higher.

Here is some profound social psychology about standards that should not be ignored. When a person senses that we live by a low set of standards, then they will modify their behavior and judge us accordingly. On the other hand, if they sense that we hold high standards, then we are more likely to win their respect and admiration. High and low standards will be laid out later on. Because our personal standards are reflected in so many areas of your life, they are, therefore, always “on show” for the public, right?

I know for a fact I have reset the bar of standards for so many friends. Through the choices I make and the lane I maintain, I show my friends the type of romantic partner to accept, for example. When we accept below our standards we can watch in real time the negative impact on our life. Think about the sh*tty low level human you or someone you know has decided to date regardless of the red flags, warning signs, lack of shared values, and immensely heightened state of infatuation. At the end of the day, I can also remind my friends about the abusive relationship I chose to be in because I walked away from my self belief and threw away my standards.

When we throw our standards into the trash we should expect trash.

Other areas of life I can beam as an example of high standards is how I carry my Self in public and that standards I very much expect humans to uphold in public. I have high expectations as well as high standards for other adult humans. I show the behaviors to present as to receive respect rather than inconsideration or sexism. My strong values are reflected in how I act, and that sets the bar for how others perceive me as a human being. My values also create expectations, or possibly lack of, for what others are going to do in my realm of reality. Remember- what people think, they perceive and what people perceive, they feel and then they act on. What we act on AKA do everyday creates our habitual behaviors. We have to be careful with our thoughts and if we are developing standards, because these standards, or lack of, ultimately determine who we are as a person because our habits are who we are.

All the best today beeb!




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