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This Controls You

Have you ever wondered why you do the things that you do?

Have you noticed how often your emotions and feelings will persuade or guide you to do, or not do, something?

Say hello to your nervous system.

Your nervous system is what is in control of your mind and body.

Your nervous system, quite basically, is the unconscious driver of your vessel that is your body.

There is so much that you do every minute that is unconscious and helps you live life. Breathing, grabbing for things, walking, reacting to situations all come from the nervous system. Your nervous system is well-intentioned and only wants what’s good for your survival, but it may have gotten wired over the years in ways that are actually maladaptive to your adult life. It may have mixed up good for survival with just trying to survive anyway possible, and this can wreak havoc in your adult life. Sometimes, we feel unlucky or like life is out to get us because of the consistent and unconscious choices we continue to make. Your choices usually come from how you feel, rather than what you think. So, a lot of what you do is because of feeling a certain way and wanting to change that feeling, usually to feel better than you initially did.

What’s more, is that you are your habits. So, what this means is that whatever choices you have made over and over again in life, those become engrained into your nervous system and eventually become automatic behaviors. To no surprise, the automatic behaviors come from your autonomic nervous system. Can you hear the similarity in words? Automatic and autonomic.

The engrained behaviors that were once conscious choices you were making will over time become unconscious habits you just go ahead and do. The dangerously amazing thing about doing, is that you are activated to do things by the neurotransmitter chemical dopamine. Get this: dopamine does not care what you do. Dopamine just cares that it is activated. Unlike your nervous system that is well intentioned though can get confused, your dopamine just wants to be a part of life no matter what it is motivating you towards.

This is why making conscious choices is urged ratter than feelings-focused reactions.

When you are feeling not good about your Self or life, those feelings will drive you to do certain things. These things usually are not the most helpful or beneficial for the longterm of your life. You go towards doing these things regardless of the longterm consequences because the short term rewards are what you want. How you feel in the here and now is all you care about. So you choose your vices. When you are feeling sh*tty and don’t want to feel that way, a lot of the time you don’t reach for the truly better things, you reach for the fast acting things. When your nervous system is feeling all sorts of ways that you do not like, you choose to repair it with instant gratification. What is happening here is major when we make the faster, lower level choices. To clarify, lower level choices come from our emotion-based lower area of our mind known as the amygdala. 2 serious things happen when we reach for what is instantly rewarding rather than longterm benefitting. Your dopamine is being taught to work against you and you are living in nervous system dysregulation stuck in a choice loop.

The first thing that is happening when you instantly gratify your Self is you are teaching your dopamine what it likes aka what you like to do. When you reach for the instant rewards whether it be food or people or an activity, you are training your mind and body to always choose those things. If you drink alcohol as a coping mechanism to how you feel, then you will eventually form a substance dependency. If you late night booty call to fill a void, sex could eventually become a dependency and/or you may fall out of the habit of forming healthy relationships all together. Whatever you choose consistently becomes a habit. Dopamine is a strong driver for habit formation. And remember, dopamine just wants you to do things and it does not care what that doing means for your life.

The 2nd major thing that is happening is that all this doing to feel better in the short term can cause nervous system dysregulation. Using the word major feels like an understatement. This is crucial for your life and feeling okay everyday. What’s more, is that this is a cycle and it’s chicken or egg on what starts it. You will notice as I briefly explain this cycle, that it is more like a downward spiral. The only thing that gets you out of this spiral is to challenge your feelings and feelings-based choices, strengthening them by consciously assessing them. What’s happening when your nervous system is dysregulated is that you are unconsciously reacting to your feelings. You are not consciously making active choices for your life. Instead of doing what you need to, which can be challenging and require great change, you stick with the familiar even though you likely do not like life all that much. Hence, the instant gratifying choices you continue to make to feel better in the short term. The long term is of no concern to you because your negative feelings are so strong in the here and now that you don’t care about the future because the present feels awful.

Alright, lets break down this nervous system choice loop keeping in mind dysregulation.

Regardless of where or how the dysregulation occurs, imagine feeling sh*tty and just wanting to feel better as soon as possible. Though feelings are not facts, your nervous system does not know this and in fact is activated by how you feel. You choose to do something that makes you feel better, like video games or drinking alcohol or spending hours on your phone. After making this instantly gratifying choice, you have thoughts about it. You realize what it meant for you and your life. It did not actually solve or fix anything, other than some in-the-moment feelings. Life is still the same. Because your go-to familiar choice did not repair what needs fixing, you still don’t feel good and if anything now feel even worse. Here comes the spiral. Now you are making more instantly gratifying choices to further mask your negative feelings. Your mind is not getting what it needs. Your body is not getting what it needs. You nervous system goes into dysregulation when it does not get what it needs. Only you can choose to give your Self what you need.

Make conscious choices to enjoy a life with nervous system regulation.

This being said, nervous systems go in and out of regulation. This is normal. Think about it. So much happens every hour of every day, right? From time to time we get stressed or scared, which warrants a reaction, usually. Reactions, whether physical or emotional, come from our autonomic nervous system just trying to protect us as always. A crazy situation or sudden event can tip the nervous system lever over to dysregulation. How you go back in to regulation is determined by what you choose to do or not to do. Petting a cute animal, breath work, screaming into a pillow, journaling, taking a moment, touching your toes, drinking water, going for a walk are all healthy approaches to getting your nervous system back into a comfortable state.

Life isn’t about perfection, its about choices.

Yeah, I know, we are called human beings. But, what a lot of of us don’t know is that if we are to no do anything and just simply exist, we are very seriously taking away what makes us who we are, which can immensely cause nervous system dysregulation. The type of human that does not do is called a monk. If your choice is to live in modern America and shop online, for example, then you are choosing to be a human being that actively does things. You can’t have your cake and eat it to in regards to contented life and good mental health. You have to contribute to life to get more out of life. You have to let your authentic self out to play, and live within your passions and daily activities. Everyday, you are to do things for your self, you are to do things for others, and you are to do things that contribute to community. THAT is what it means to be human and it is what it means to be alive. THAT is how you get the better things from everyday life and live the life that works for you rather than against you.

Many modern humans have become confused on the matter that is life because marketing from big business just wants us to buy short term solutions rather than us being the long term solution for our Self. You are all you need to be happy. You are all you need to have the greatest love of a lifetime. And when you lean into the power that is you, you truly begin to receive what works best for the long-term of your life. Manifestation is not magic, its intentional and psychology based. What you see in your mind, you begin to have feelings about and then believe. Once a human has a belief, they are activated to do things in regards to this belief. Belief is a potent life tool to making things happen and getting what you need. You can learn everything about this power via the info-packed podcast all about Manifestation.

It is always up to you!

You always have control, even if it seems you have lost it. It never slips away from your grasp.

All the best today beebs!




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